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Sleep now moon
I'll watch over him while the sun is up
And you'll have his eyes again soon
It's a glorious day
And my lonely heart is tired again
And I'm starved for his attention
Sleep now sweet prince
I'll cheer for you silently
And carefully not to disturb
And I'll be ready for you on that evening
When you're starved for my attention
And You'll say
Wait now princess
There's a brilliant sky above
And a jealous moon in love
And they are starved for our attention
But sleep now moon
For that's when he sparks a little light in my eye

Indie Rock

07.02.04 (5:10 pm) [edit]

I went shopping today. With Kelcey. And I had a blast. She's so much fun. She reminds me of Danielle and Sam.. minus the bad stuff. It was so much fun. I got a cute maroom tank top with a flower thing on the shoulder, a pretty one, not those ulgy crappy looking flower pins. And I got some jeans, a "poncho" thing from the 60's and a sweater thing. I was about to get a cigar box purse but I was like, no be strong, no more purses.
And I'm listening to the best music ever. Indie rock. New Indie Rock. And it's great. I love Indie and I just downloaded Nestcape/AOL radio and I'm in heaven right now listening to random Indie songs. Now I have like a million more bands I love. Cuz every one of the bands and their songs sounds so frickin' similar to The Stroke's in some way. It makes me happy.
I would tell you more of my day, as in the ice cream incident, popables and spiderman 2 (which is a cute movie I love it) and some sexy skaters sitting on a bench BUT I won't now, I'll leave you in suspense.
But I love you all.
<3 Ash >
Here's this cuz I thought it was cute...

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning as you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you?
Does he know that place below your neck that's your favorite to be touched?
And does he cry through broken sentences like, "I love you far too much"?

Does he lie awake listening to your breath?
Worried you smoke too many cigarretes?
Is he coughing now?
On the bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there's a thousand more,
You wont ever see.
But most hide inside yourself,
eternally.

Well, I drug your ghost across the country,
and we plotted out my death.
In every city memories would whisper,
"Here is where you rest."

I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees.
And I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine,
"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine."

And I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me; they reminded me of hers.
And in a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge, sun bruised field.
And there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder,
clapped under our hands,
and it stretched for centuries,
until a diary entry's end.
Where I wrote,

"You make me happy,
When skies are grey,
You make me happy,
When skies are grey."

Well, the clock's heart, it hangs inside it's open chest.
With it's hands stretched toward the calander, hanging itself.
But I will not weep for those dying days,
for all the ones who left, for the few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass,
where I was laid.

Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself

I'm Back!!!

06.28.04 (7:25 pm) [edit]

I haven't written in forever, I know. But my computer has been screwed and those nerds didn't fix it right so I have a brand new one now.
Last time I wrote I was totally infatuated with Matt the skater. Well, the next day after I wrote, he got put in MY car and I was stoked. He was hilarious like I loved that boy. He was sexy and he was sweet. Kinda dumb, as in he was trying to convice me that motorcycles make you lose your hair. He was going to be a sophmore also I was like no way, no you aren't you are wayyyy too tall. And he plays varsity soccer and he loves VWBugs. Awsome right? I mean, how perfect could he be? I was like danget I've found my husband... but I had no idea as to who he really was.. Well, yesterday on the bus, I was talking to the guy I've had a crush on since December finally and he goes to west fl. also and was like "Matt? He's such a stoner! He's like the biggest pothead I know. You know he takes carpentry and he made a box to keep his weed stash in." I was like NO WAY! He's so sexy though. Cuz I was like thinking when prom or sadie or homecoming comes around I was going to go to one of his Varsity Soccer games and get him to go with me but I guess not anymore... He was by far the sexiest guy ever ever ever everrrrrrr but he does weed. alot. So, he's out.
But yes, last week I went to New York. I have always wanted to go there, SO BAD, and I get there and it was like WHAT?!?! WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?!?!!?
I went with youth and the youth minister called the church we were staying at in Manhattan (the heart of nyc) and it was supposed to be in the center of it all.. Broadaway, Times Square and Central Park. The bus ride was 28 hours one way. It was forever. There I sat with Laura cuz I didn't really know anybody and this guy named Kenneth asked me to sit with him and I was like hello, Jeff's sitting there.. Jeffery is so sweet and everyone kicks him out of the seat. It's so sad. He's a sweetheart though about it. But anyways, we had two huge buses for 64 people and I think just one seated like 40 somethin so there was plenty of room, but when we get into Tallahasse, the other buses air conditioning breaks, so then we have 12 hours to ride with 50 people in our bus. It was insane. And we stop to get it fixed which took one and a half hours for them to find they didn't have the right piece to fix it with. So, after that I was like dang this is so much fun, I don't see how NYC could top this. After all those delays we arrive in SC at 1 am when we were supposed to be there at 6pm and we go to sleep and are back on the road at 8am that morning but not really cuz we stop at the "mall" which was actually a shopping center with like 3 stores for six hours to get the bus fixed. At 2 the bus comes and we load up but then end up stopping again cuz the air conditioning broke again, so we arrive at NYC after many stops at 7am. Fun. And I met this new guy during all that time, Trey. My friend that went to PFHs with me had the BIGGEST crush on him. I sat with him the whole ride there on the second day and everyone thought we were dating, but he's so preppy. He's a frickin pretty boy and I like dirty guys. Guys that look like they smell, but don't, like Paris Hilton's friend said. And he's so organized and I'm a wreck. But anyways people say we had a "one night stand" in a way, whatever guys. But that night on the bus, we were really hungry so he's like I was Twinkies so he's going to the front to get some and it's 4am remember and we're in washington DC and the bus is so shaky you can barely stand much less walk and everyone is sleeping and so feet are blocking the aisle and he does fine getting there but on the way back he was reading the package and trips on feet and falls flat on his face and he's so tall like 6'4 so it makes the loudest noide and his feet fly up and it was hilarious though.
So we're driving through NYC in morning rush hour traffic so it takes us about an hour to go one little mile. And we're driving over the Washington Bridge and I'm like AWSOME I'm staying in there, but we turn and we're in the bronx and I was like oh, I guess we're passing through here but then the bus stops. And here we are in the Bronx aka the pure ghetto of nyc, with blacks and mexicans walking around everywhere with homeless people surrounding every inch of the sidewalk and this tiny church across from Exito Foods, a tiny food store. Exhausted and dissapointed we go inside and find we don't get to take a nap cuz they're enslaving us already, we unload and get to work with NO sleep at all, all I had was an hour and a half on the bus. I get to fold papers and then we get dressed and two people get picked to go the Hilton. Me and Trey get picked and we go it's so nice. I liked that part of NYC. SO busy. SO much different than Pensacola. THE tallest buildings and people everywhere. That was NIIIIIICCEEEE.

Very. We're carrying bags into the Hilton, but we get distracted and decide to fool around with the elevators and ride up to the 48th floor with two gay guys. And Trey, if I didn't know him I would think he was gay, just cuz of how he walks and he dresses. Then we go downstairs to some concert and we down another floor and some NBC thing is going on and people are telling us to go somewhere so we run down the escelator and I run into some lady going out the door in a black business outfit and I say I'm sorry but she just keeps walking and Trey is looking all shocked and runs out the door and I follow him and I keep looking at that lady trying to figure out what was wrong with Trey and he's like OMG ITS BARBRA WALTERS!! I ran into Barbara Walters. Cool.
Then we go back to the church and I sleep then get up and go the camp and work in the kitchen and had the best food and left my Roxy sweater there. Then I finally get to take a HOT shower there at camp and do my make up perfect to go to Broadway. Go back to the church and get dressed and eat and get on the bus to Broadway to see Phantom of the Opera. BORING!!! Broadway is so tiny. I don't know what they were thinkin' building that little piece of crap. Then we leave after 3 hours of that crap sitting with Trey my one night stand man.
Get back to the church and sleep and the next day I work and I was so excited that I get to go shopping the next day. So Friday I wake up EXHAUSTED from never having a moment to sit, I work and go on a prayer walk, get back and get dressed in my clothes, everything I own is from american eagle. Literally. I wore this denim skirt that pleats at the bottom and is frayed also at the bottom and my Bartlett Bulldogs grey t that says Shorty 32 on the back and my white flip flops and dark pinkishmaroon fossil purs and everyone was like you look sexy dang. I was like what? AE does not equal sexy exactly. Weird people...... Then we went to the bus and it POURS!! and we arrive at Times Square and it POURS.. MORE. So we all go buy umbrellas except for Jeff and Brad and Brad shares mine with me, it was his intention cuz he know I would feel bad. But he was my slave I made him hold it and I had to hold his arm everywhere cuz I slipped and fell twice, in a skirt, so not only has everyone here seen my naked buttox but the new york homedawgs have too. Typical. I have a nickname too given to me that day RuThLeSs.. cuz I'm "mean" to the guys. Of course we didn't get to shop cuz Laura, being the youth ministers daughter wanted a Louie Viuton purse and an I love NY shirt that you could get here so we go look for those. And we meet up with the whole youth group at the garage, where illegal purchasing of STOLEN louie vuitons are happening and there is the youth minister directing us to go and yelling at me and the chaperone Sarah for trying to go away so the cops won't get us. There's the man that leads us telling us it's okay to steal and support the people selling them money for drugs, or terrorism or alchol. So, every girl has one of those ugly purses or a Gucci or whatever bag and all the guys Rolex's and Oakley sunglasses. Except me and Sarah and a few of the guys. Then we go back home and I pack and sleep and then there's the bus ride back and we arrive back sunday at 9pm.. 3 hours late.
New York though.. Upper Albany was beautiful. I loved it there. But that city, go there, I mean nothing has changed me and made me realize things like that, Saturday night on the bus I went up to the front of the bus to sit by myself and I just prayed forever and I never cry but it just made me cry. This world is horrible. And nobody realizes what they could have and how good it could be. The shirts there, I only read one cuz that was too much F you, you Fin F was one shirt and this billboard, of this watch by Swatch I looked at and Josh said oh my gosh that's horrible and I kept looking and on the face of the watch you see these bunnies having sex and I mean, children buy that and they pass and look at it and they say gay guys kissing and all the horrible things and they grow up thinking that's okay. All of that is just horrible. It shows you how horrible this world is becoming and how soon the rapture is, and people just need to realize that because their time is running out.

But on another note, I'm listening to Thursday the Full Collapse cd and it's intense, man. If you listen to it like loud the feeling they put into it is crazy. If you get the cd listen to number 11 its like such a like an intense song, its so sad but sweet in a way.

But I got to meet so many people, everyone thinks cuz I'm "pretty" they say that I'm stuck up so I went up and there wasn't one person I didn't talk to at least once and by the second day I would go up and talk to someone and they would be like everyone is talking about you, they all love you and think you are so sweet. That's crazy. And on the bus 4 girls were in a group and I was walking and they stopped me and were like you are so beautiful, you are the prettiest person I have ever seen and you are so sweet and that's so rare to find someone gorgeous and sweet and they were telling me I have pretty eyes and I should be a model cuz I have high defined cheekbones and I was so shocked, girls are HORRIBLE to me and here are 4 of them being SOO nice. That has NEVER happend EVER. And I met my best friend there, I LOVE her i mean i LOVE her she is awesome. Stacy is her name and I would always be in her way in our room cuz my stuff was right by hers so I just started talking to her and guess who's sister she is? Jeff the skater I've liked since December. I had no idea. We were in line and she was like "Hey, there's lil' crapper" I was like no he's sweet why don't you like him and she was like my brother dude. She is so much fun like I love her. She's so tomboyish and sooooooo sarcastic. We were in Burger King Sunday and I was having the worst luck that day and I was ordering and I couldn't understand what the guy was saying to me so I just start CRACKING up like crazy. I mean I just burst out laughing and there was so many people I knew in that line and they were like staring at me cuz I was trying so hard talk and then I had to stand there and wait for my food. So, that was wonderful and then I go and sit with Stacy and Michael and there's little Garfield glasses and Stacy's like "these are hott, I'm getting some of these" So, she's sitting there with these ugly Garfield glasses and eating french fries weird and like starts picking her nose and acting SO nerdy and we go to pee and she pulls her pants up to her bra and tucks her shirt in and walks out and back to Arby's like that it was so crazy, and then Michael wants some glasses too but is too afraid to ask for some so here's three teenagers standing outside at the drive in thing stomping around on the ground trying to get the sensor to come on, it was pretty normal looking I'm sure.
I just love Stacy, that's it.

Well, I'm tired of typing so I'll type more tomorrow.. Love you guys <3>

[LINE]

Here's a survey

What is you favourite...
Food:	Grilled chicken anything
Movie:	The Virgin Suicides
Book:	Boy Still Missing by John Searls
CD:	The Strokes.. either one or New End Original - Thriller
Band:	The Strokes
Drink:	Water
TV show:	Malcom In The Middle
Animal:	Monkey
This or That
Love/Lust:	Loving a guy you lust after, but not in a sick way, like you think he's cute
TV/Movie:	Movie
Rain/Sun:	Sun
Night/Day:	Night
Hobbits/Elves:	Fairys
Magazine/Newspaper:	Magazines
Guys/Girls:	Guys
Phone/IM:	Phone
Clark Kent/Lex Luthor:	I don't know who those are
Thought Provoking...
If you could meet anyone, who would it be?:	Julian Casablancas
If you had any kind of car, what would it be?:	Red Toyota Celica '03
If you could go ANYWHERE, where woud you go?:	Orlando
If you could meet any Hobbit, which one would you pick?:	Shut up! I hate LOTR
Would you rather have your leg cut off or your fingers?:	I don't know
What is your dream job?:	Interior Desiger
If you could have any animal as a pet, what animal would you have.:	Teacup Poodle
What would you say to Bill Gates if you met him?:	Wanna give me some money?
Who would you kill, Britney Spears Christina Aguilera or Hilary Duff?:	I don't think any of them are horrible
If you saw two guys making out, who would you want them to be?:	EW I saw that, I wouldn't want any guys to make out
First thing that comes to your head...
New:	End Original
Old:	Start
Hobbit:	Hairy
Elf:	Santa Clause
Britney Spears:	Sequins (? it is the first thing that I saw in my head)
Woot:	That Holla Back song
Pink:	Barbie
Clay:	Gumby
Chefbob:	What?
Stick:	Popsicle
Goo:	25cent machine Goo
Speed:	Car
Bar:	Chocolate
Bibliophobia:	Book?
I say a name, you tell me who it is...
Bob:	A vegan guy that went to my school but just graduated
Johnny:	A guy that graduated last year
Fred:	A retarted guy that went to my school
Naomi:	Aw Naomi, my friend
Bryanne:	I don't know one of those
Sarah:	The sweet girl i met at church
Josh:	Milla-time
Chris:	Kirby's bro, he's awesome
Brandon:	This guy I used to like in like 3rd grade
Matt:	The guy I "went out" with
Rich:	Adam.. the dentist's son
Ron:	Nobody
Tom:	The guy that graduated this year the grungy one
Michael:	I love that name, my buddy who's real cute
Frank:	Hot dogs?
Joe:	A girl Jo at school
Shaniqua:	I don't know
Orlando:	Bloom ugghhh
Kaitlyn:	My next door neighbor acutally
Nicole:	Nobody
Michelle:	That girl that used to come to my house all the time, she lives down the street
Anna:	My old best friend
Angel:	Aaron's friend
Debra:	Nobody
Tracey:	Nobody
Sean:	Oh, the one at school that looks like Paul
Billy:	Nobody
Dom:	bot
Elijah:	Wood from the school I used to go to
Answer Only is Song Titles/Lyrics!
Describe your life:	I could only think of that one
Are you in Love?:	"I won't fall in love anymore" - Icarus Line
Would you like to kill anyone?:	-
If you were in a movie, what would be the title?:	-
How do you feel about Pop songs?:	-
What would you say to your favourite actor/actress?:	-
Describe you family:	-
How would you describe your social life?:	-
Evilness
Are you Evil?:	Nope
Are you Hateful?:	Nope
Have you ever severly hurt anyone?:	Emotionally yes but not intentionally
Are you glad that this is over?:	Kinda

RANDOM!!! brought to you by BZOINK!

Sorry that was boring

Yesterday...

06.09.04 (7:13 am) [edit]

Yesterday I made a t-shirt. A replica of the $39.50 one that was a hurley shirt. I was like no way I am not paying that much for a tank top. So I went to old navy and got a white tank and some ribbon from wally world which was all together $9.58.. then you cut out the seams on the shoulders and seam it and sew the ribbon so it ties on the shoulder. Well, anyways, I like it.

Then I layed out. My butt cheek is so burnt. And that's the only thing that's burnt! Weird..

But, driver's ed, man that was so much fun this time. Really.
We got there, went over homework, and had a test.
But then we drove.
Too bad sexy skater wasn't in my car. Oh well. This other guy was, he's really fun. Andy was his name. He kept pressing the brake on the passenger side and I kept thinking something was wrong with the car and every time we had to switch he would put on the emergency brake knowing I couldn't put it down. He's such a sweet guy.
We had to zigzag inbetween cones and then drive straight and reverse straight. Challenging stuff, man. Haha.
But, who was the second person to get jail time? Ashley Lauren!!
I had two laps around the field for not taking the key out of the ignition which I didn't know you had to do. Oh well. I met two new people because of that.

This guy, Mark I think.. one of the twins anyways. He like rubbed my arm and was all "Hey, you have gorgeous eyes." I was like uh thanks. And when I passed him when I had to carry a cone to a marker he was like "hey cutie pie" I was like, sick, shut up. Flirting ain't gonna get you anywhere weed smoker.

And that guy that sits beside me still stares at me constantly. I mean, like I can't totally see him out of the corner of my eye. But I've learned my lesson.. that nerdy guy that stares at you, NEVER be nice and talk to him. No matter what. Trust me.

But oh my gosh guys. That skater. He's like omg. I mean, Jeff is gorgeous but this guy... He's just like any other skater, looks at me all the time but never talks to me. I'm going to have to talk to him cuz he is just too dang good lookin'. Haha. He has long blonde hair, like blonde but brown, brown with blonde highlights and it's to his shoulder and its really really layered and like cut short in the front so it doesn't cover his eyes. He has really dark brown eyes and is SO tall. Like I wore heels Monday and he was still so much taller than me. And he's normal sized, not fat but not really skinny.

I just hope we get put in the same car today..

<3>

Yesterday...

06.09.04 (7:09 am) [edit]

Help me! Please...

06.07.04 (7:25 pm) [edit]

I'm supposed to have a right bar. But it's on the bottom of my blog.. (scroll all the way down to see)

Help?

Thankx <3>
[LINE]

My computer is stupid so it's going in the shop.

Church was blehhhhhhhhhh yesterday. I was so tired and all dressed up and like nobody was there.
Oh well.
Story of my life.

Driver's Ed. Got like 10 new people. All basic public school kids. (Bleh)

But, man, that skater. Matt. Man, that hair. And those eyes. And that face. And that height. He's g o r g e o u s.

It's like this, they stare at me. And when I look up at them and smile its like a deer caught in headlights and they halfway smile and walk off, or just look real surprised. And when I talk to them, anything I say, they stop talking or stop paying attention to any distractions and for that moment, I'm their world.
That's Ashley's luck with guys....

And I'm listening to New End Original right now and I love it! I love N.E.O. they're great. <33 >
A good cd to buy?
New End Original - Thriller
Icarus Line - Penance Soiree
Sugarcult - Palm Trees And Power Lines
And like you weren't totally expecting this.. THE STROKES anything. <3>
Julian is great.
That's all I can say.
But if I think about it..
I've seen guys that can amount to his glory..
I'm happy to say that...

Oh skater boy...

I'm not letting this chance pass me by....

Help me! Please...

06.07.04 (7:19 pm) [edit]

Either/Or Survey
06.05.04 (5:38 pm) [edit]
Regular M&Ms, or Peanut M&MS?:	Regular M and M's... I heart m and m's
Dozen Roses or 3 boxes of chochlate?:	One white carnation
Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?:	I don't care

Free movies for a year or free CDS for your life?:	Free CD's for my life.. pshh who needs movies?
School or work?:	Work.. cuz you'd get to PICK what you do and get PAID
Christmas or birthday?:	CHRISTMAS!!!
Peanut Butter M&MS,Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?:	Julian Casablancas
Vanilla Pepsi or Vanilla coke?:	Pepsi
American Eagle or Abercromie and Fitch?:	Ahhh.. I don't know I love them both!!!
Driving or flying?:	Driving!!
Roller skating or ice skating?:	Ice skating <3 >
Apples or oranges?:	Apples
Paris, France or Florence, Italy?:	Pari
Punk'D or The Newlyweds?:	Ughh they're both horrible
Jay Leno or David Letterman?:	Neither...
New York or LA?:	Gahh! New York or California?? Who could chose?? LA Probably though..
AOL messenger or MSN messenger?:	AIM.. MSN sucks
Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt or J.LO/Ben Affleck?:	Jennifer and Brad
Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger?:	Tommy I guess.. Don't really care for either
leaf raking or snow shoveling?:	Snow shoveling.. I want to see snow!!!
black pen or blue pen?:	Blue pen.. But I'd prefer pink
WalMart or Target?:	Target
picnic under the stars or horse carriage in the park?:	Laying on top of his car under the stars <3333 That's my dream date >
chochlate chip cookies or peanut butter cookies?:	CHOCOLATE CHIP!!!!!!!
Kobe Bryant or Shaq?:	I don't care!
basketball, baseball, or football?:	Football
Hiliary Duff (Lizzie Mcguire) Or Lindsey Logan(Freaky Friday)?:	Lindsey Lohan
French fries,curly fries, or tator tots?:	Curly Fries
Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?:	Julian Casablancas
Phoebe, Monica, or Rachel(off of FRIENDS)?:	I have no idea who they are seeing as I hate friends

Chose between... brought to you by BZOINK!

:) Skaterrsss <333

06.05.04 (5:27 pm) [edit]

I haven't written in forever! Well, since Thursday I think.
So, what's been going on in Ashley's life lately?

Oh, the background is white because I'm changing the layout soon and I need to find the measures of everything.

Friday::
So, Friday was driver's ed. And I have a "Scott" in that class. ie: a guy that stares at me constantly thinking I don't notice. and to make things worse.. he sits right beside me. Every day. Every single day. It's like duh, I can so see you out of the corner of my eye.
But on to more important things.. skater boy in that class aka Matt. Gorgeous. I mean "WOW!"
Oh, and before driver's ed I went to the mall... I got a real cute shirt, it looked like a boustiee (not sure how to spell that) but it was a shirt. And it was real cute. But I got it home and realized it had a hole, so I took it back. And I got a really really really cute bathing suit. So I have like six now. Oh well... Oh! And I got a necklace from PacSun that I'd been wanting since winter so that was nice.

Hey, I'm so confused.. I went to the mall Thursday so yeah..

Friday..
Friday I went shopping again.. took back a skirt to AE and got a shirt from there and found some pants I want there. And some pants I want from Express but those were $78.50, so forget that. And I took back that shirt..
And I layed out..

Today:
Eye dialation!! YEEEAHHHH!! So much fun!
Then hung out with mom at the house and then went grocery shopping AND got a heated eye lash curler! It's so cool!! I love it and it works! <3>
And I got my Icarus Line cd sometime. It's so nice! I love it. It's like so different than other bands, with it's lyrics. Like other bands talk about all those hott girls they meet and how they fall in love but they talk about hott girls that use them and stuff. Weird. But really cool. I know you've never heard of them. They sound like The White Stripes and The Strokes mixed with like some old 70's stoner rock. It's cool <3>
I'm gonna go do some surveys..

My Exciting Day

06.02.04 (5:49 pm) [edit]

My day was great. It was SO exciting...

Let's start from the beginning

Woke up from the dog barking
Came downstairs
Ate
Listened to music while doing my homework from driver's ed
Ate
Watched TV
Ate lunch
Got online and Scott told me he was cold and lonely
I was kinda freaked out so I got off
Jogged a mile on the treadmill
Got dressed, did makeup and hair
Went to Driver's ed
Came home
Fixed mac'n'cheese
Ate and watched Punk'd
Here I am

If you didn't notice I was joking about the exciting part.

But in driver's ed. This guy that I have had a crush on since the beginning of this year was there.
He was talking to me after the class. It was cool. Everyone says he's so stupid. He's not. I mean the first time I talked to him he was talking about what he was doing for future and everything. I mean, is that stupid? He was giving me advice on what to pick to do too..
wow, what a stupid guy.

And you know who he reminded me of so much.. by his body gestures and conversation.. Jared. My "first love" or whatever. That is so crazy. Cuz when I was talking to him I just kept looking at him cuz I was thinking, who does he remind me of?? It was Jared the whole time. So weird. But good. I liked him SOOOO much.. but JAred cheated on me so it was over but man.. that's crazy.

My Exciting Day

06.02.04 (5:42 pm) [edit]

Survey.. For Girls about Guys <3

06.02.04 (10:54 am) [edit]

--Your Favorite--
Hair Color::	Brown!!!
Eye Color::	Brown, hazel or blue.. anything but green
(Their)Music Genre Preference::	Rock or punk.. but not that Yellowcard crap, they suck
Height(estimate)::	An inch or two shorter, my height or taller... no preference I guess
Age::	It doesn't really matter, as long as he's somewhat mature and we can get along
Personality Type::	Laid back
--This or That--
Older or Younger::	Older or younger, I don't really care.. Around my age
Romantic or Horndog::	lol... a mix of the two
Smart or Stupid::	Not too smart where he's an ass about his geniusness but not so stupid either.. both
Fat or Skinny::	Not huge, but not like anorexic either.. just a nice size.. some meat on his bones
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular::	Skinny but muscular
Punk or Preppy::	SkAtEr <3 oooooooh yeahhh! >
The Big Picture or the Little Things::	I don't know what you're talking about?
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present::	I don't want him to spend alot of money on me
Mixtape or Burned CD::	Mixtape.. awww <3 >
Love or Lust::	A mix of the two.. like when you get to a place where you can't live without each other and you're best friends but you still want to do each other.. well you know what i mean
Emotional or Just Not::	NOT!!! No emo-ness!!!!
Sincere or Jokester::	Jokester, where he can have fun alot but still be serious at times
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet::	Well, the guys I like I think are hott but everyone else thinks is ugly so "Ugly" and Sweet I guess
Sexy or Just "cute"::	Well, sexy usually involves bulging muscles so just cute. me no le gusta muscles
Arse or Abs::	Arse. Definately.
Hair or Hands::	Well, I used to be a hands person. But that hair, man, hair is sexy.
Dimples or Eyes::	Eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs::	I'm guessing biceps is arms? So the legs
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) ::	Teeth
Clean Shaven or Scruffy::	CLEAN SHAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is a must
Rugged or Prim and Proper::	Rugged!
Countryboy or Cityboy:	Cityboy.. get me out of this damn place!
Date alone or With Friends:	Either.. it'd be nice to have some time alone so date alone but with friends once in a while
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause::	Aw mama's boy.. but also with some rebel
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much::	YES!! just happened....
Loved a guy because he stalked you::	Errrmmm.. "Loved" the guy that stalked you count?
Loved a guy because he hated you::	Umm that's weird
Asked your friend's crush out::	Haha! Never that's horrible!!!
Lead a guy on for kicks::	Yep haha oops
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott::	I've never asked a guy out but I've liked guys strictly because they were hott.. many times.....
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend::	Can't say that I have
Lied about not having a boyfriend::	Nope
Lied about having one::	Nope
Cheated::	That is SO wrong
Been Cheated on::	Yes, and it was SO wrong
Had a crush on a gay guy::	Haha.. well, there was this guy on real world new orleans.. chris i think he was gay but he was HOT
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?::	yes
Briefs?::	no
Hat?::	some hats are sexy
Skater Shoes?::	YESSSSSSS
Pimp Shoes?::	noooo
Band Shirts?::	yess!!
Vintage shirts?::	yes!
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?::	nooo
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?::	I don't know what that is?
Independent/DC?::	Skater wear.. yes!
Skavenger/UGP?::	I don't know what that is either
Fox/Thor?::	No those shirts are really tight
Jeans or Shorts?::	Either..
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?::	No, that's kind of cruel
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?::	No I don't care about that
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?::	Yeah lol
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?:	Yes!.. which don't do that girls! It gets you in trouble!!
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?::	I don't "screw lots of guys" so no
Do looks matter?::	Yeah, sometimes.. but if you really know the guy then no
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?::	If I was so into what we had yes
Does size matter?::	I think I know what you're talking about and no. Only whores care about that
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?::	Yeah!!!
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?::	No! THat's mean
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be)::	I'm not ashamed
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?::	Like about myself? Sure, everyone hides something
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?::	No that's nastyyy
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?::	NO!
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?::	OMG NO! To have a boyfriend that would wait.. would be great!! <333 >
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:	I'm not sure, when the situation comes we'll see
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:	Never lol.. so I try to avoid those words.. they just confuse you so you think you do
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?::	Yeah I've had dreams about them
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?::	Curiosity yeah
Does this survey suck nuts?:	Nope I LOOOVVVEE Surveys!

Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls) brought to you by BZOINK!

Drivers Ed

06.01.04 (6:36 pm) [edit]

*giggle*

Here is the last five hours of my life in perfect detail... unecessary detail but here we go

I drive to EHS in the rain, pouring pounding rain, and go inside the school and go to the lobby. A room with sixty chairs and only ten people filling up those sixty.
I look through the window and I see somebody. Or hair. I see hair. Nice hair. Nice long shaggy brown hair. Shoulder length nice long brown shaggy hair. It's nice.
So I sit down on the row behind the shaggy hair. Some girl comes in and actually smiles at me. I about died. Girls are so mean to me. Then some other guy comes. He had the face of I don't know but a really sweet face. And nice hair and sideburns. It was nice.
Anyways she called names and the guy with the long brown hair's name is Matt Walker.. Quincidence? I hope not.
I don't remember the other guys name.
So I see Naomi. She's awsome from freshmen year so I hang with her. We walk to the room and sit down.
Our instructor talks forever and guess who he picks on the whole time!! MEEEEE!!! I H A T E that! With a passion burning deep within my soul.
So first he asks questions and I'm the first one to be asked. Then he looks around and he says
"Lets pick on the pretty one"
So he brings me up there. I was like what?
So he makes me stand up there and asks "Guys, what do you all think of this nice young lady?"
And I was shocked I was like noooo bad dream!! this is a bad dream!!!!!!!
So I just kind of looked down but I did look up at Matt lol he just smiled. Nice smile. <3>And he asks this guy what he thought of me and hes like "She's niiiiiiccce" then he did this illistration of seeing if I would go out with that guy if he had a hole in his jaw? Not sure what point he was proving... BUT...
So, then after being totally humiliated I go back to my seat.
And he continues to harass me and only me with questions and then tells me "there is something more to you than just a pretty face. see boys?"
I was like okay I'm going to go die now.

I hate that.
Every teacher.
EVERY ONE.
OR just him and mr.rw do that to me. I HATEEEEE THAT!!!!!

HATE
IT!

So, but anyways the guy is real cute. And he doens't drink or smoke, unless he lied when the coach was asking us if we did. But the one with the angel face does. So he's out...

<3>
Oh, and dave called and said he had to ask me someting. I know what it's going to be and I'm going to have to be that mean heart braeking bitch again...

Drivers ed..

06.01.04 (10:09 am) [edit]

Today:
Woke up
Drove to the bank first
Drove to Sweet Repeats to pick up my check
Drove back the way we came to go drop off money for SL at church in July
Drove to wal-mart

Now I'm fixing dinner

Dave called me again when I was at the church and left THREE voice messages!! THREE!!!!

He is so annoying!!!!

But today I start drivers ed.. it's for people like me that go to private school and Catholic High
Ooooh catholic high!! Niiiiiiiiiiiicccceee!
Those catholic boys are dang they look good...

wow am I excited... <3>
At least I hope there will be at least on shaggy haired boy there <3>

Quizzes

05.31.04 (5:48 pm) [edit]

I had no idea what a fanfic is.. i know what it is i just don't care.. but i just saw the strokes and was like AWSUM! so i took it

You like your fics with tons of sugar and honey.
Happiness is a law in the fics you read. Nobody
is sad and everyone like each other! The world
for you is pink! A recommend you the this fic:
Romeo and Julian. Cute-sweet boy love!
JulianxNikolai sweetness! Just for you! This
fic is from my new friend Blam! I hope you
enjoy! It is on the Fanfiction.Net site! Go
search for it!

Which kind of The Strokes Slash fanfiction is better for you?
brought to you by Quizilla

jpeg

Albert Hammond jr.

Which member of The Strokes are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

wrongo.

jpeg

Julian Casablancas

Which member of The Strokes are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeahhh!! there we go... so even if i'm not julian his sexiness is appreciated i'm sure

HASH(0x8b0fa18)

The Strokes member who would most appreciate you
is..
Julian Casablancas !!!
You didn't have the best childhood, but, that's ok!
Julian didn't either. You're both so perfect
together, but you both also have a drinking
problem... Don't be surprised if you come home
one day and he's swinging from the bedpost in
the nude singing to the Doors ''L.A WOMAN''....
He's singing it to you!

Which Member of the Strokes Would Most Enjoy You as a Groupie?
brought to you by Quizilla

that's more like it.. and hey! he can swing from my bedpost nude singing whatever the hell he wants anytime

Survey.. a good long one <3

05.31.04 (5:32 pm) [edit]

SECTi0N1: AB0UT Y0URSELF_

+` name: ashley
+` gender: female
+` height: 5'6
+` hair color: darkish brown with little blonde highlights
+` eye color: baby blue
+` location: florida
+` fears: drowning, fire, falling from something high, bridges.. oh, just heights in general

SECTi0N2: HAVE Y0U EVER_

+` peed in ur pants: sadly, yes. in a room with my used-to-be best friend, her brother, and her cousin. i was laughin so hard.....
+` cheated on someone: nope, thats so wrong.
+` fallen off the bed: only once i can remember and that was when i was like seven
+` fallen for a relative: haha when i was four i remember i though my cousin was cute. remember now i was four and knew no better. but i wouldn't say i *fell* for him...
+` had pastic surgery: lol im fifteen what do you think?
+` failed a grade: i've been lucky
+` broke someones heart: um, yeah, i'm not proud of it but yes, he's such a girl
+` had ur heart broken: gahh yes boys are evil
+` done something you regret: so many times, yes
+` cheated on a test: lol yep, amber just tells me the answers and i'm not going to ignore them soooo
+` broken a body part: naw, i was never the tomboy type

SECTi0N3: CURRENTLY_

+` wearing: white cheer shorts and a number 10 lions national jersey i got from the yard sale for 12.5 cents.. two for a quarter.. i love this shirt <33>+` listening to: the icarus line.. at fye, the 30 second sampler of each song
+` chewing: nothing
+` feeling: sticky from sunless tanner
+` reading: scott's journal
+` located: in front of my computer.. duhhh
+` chatting with: nobody
+` watching: this
+` should really be: nowhere...

SECTi0N4: D0 Y0U_

+` brush ur teeth: omg, some people don't? people besides donna's brother i mean??
+` like anybody: hahaha, if you've read my journal anytime before you should know.. yes.
+` have any piercings: yes two on each ear.. getting my bellybutton done sometime too
+` drive: yes! omg!! you know what? one month and two days from tomorrow i will have my liscence. oh joy!
+` believe in santa: ~~yes~~
+` ever get off the pc: yeah...

SECTi0N5: FRiENDS_

+` who is ur best: dave, wilkson, boyken, allen, jonathon, mike, adam.. and for girls laura, cassie and nikki and amba
+` the loudest: niki and dave but the loudest.. amba!!
+` shyest: cassie and wilkson
+` hottest: laura's beautiful, she models... but guys mike is so sexy
+` who do u hang out with most: dave and wilkson and laura and cassie
+` laughs the most: me
+` known the longest: wilkson boyken and mike
+` known the shortest/least: nikki
+` do u hang out with a certain "type": preppy girls i guess... cuz i'm preppy and stuff and punk girls don't like girls like me and guys pretty much any kind. guys are cool like that <3>+` do u belong to a crew: at school yes. at church yes. i don't want to sound like all i'm better than you cuz i don't think that at all but the more popular pretty girls
+` consider urself popular: me, no. my friends, yes.
+` trust ur friends: not really
+` are u a good friend: yes
+` can u keep a secret: yes

SECTi0N6: THE LAST PERS0N Y0U_

+` hugged: laura
+` IMed: dave
+` talked to on the fone: amber
+` yelled at: kristen
+` fell in love with: don't bring up the "l" word
+` tripped: wilkson

SECTi0N7: PERS0NAL_

+` wat do u want to be when u grow up: interior decorator
+` wat was the worst day of ur life: oh wow, i've had alot of those... i couldn't pick just one
+` most embarrassing story: lets see... selfless tanner, eweoa, wh-wh-what?, the day i put on the really green belt instead of the blue one and totally dismatched horribly.. man i could go on forever...
+` the best day of ur life: walking around downtown with my mom.. that was great
+` wat comes first in ur life: i'm not sure. ms.peters says i need to put my priorities in order.. she just needs to die, she doesn't even know me.
+` do u have a bf/gf/crush: crush!!!!
+` if u had an extra set of eyes, where would u put them: random, i don't know.. but i'd make them brown <3>+` what do you usually think about before you go to bed: usually nothing, i've been so tired lately i just kind of go

SECTi0N8: FAV0RiTE_

+` movie: virgin suicides
+` song: oh man, any strokes song i guess
+` store: ae
+` relative: rachel
+` sport: i like watching football though i have no idea what's going on
+` vacation spot: orlando!!!!!!!!!!!! (in florida)
+` ice cream flavor: not a flavor but a banana split from tcby
+` fruit: banana
+` candy: m and m's or chewy sprees
+` holiday: christmas
+` day of the week: wednesday.. and i don't know why so don't ask
+` colors: pink and bright orange!
+` name for a girl: alexis
+` name for a boy: colton

SECTi0N9: D0 Y0U_

+` like to give hugs: yep!
+` like to walk in the rain: i hate rain.. and it messes up my hair
+` sleep with or without clothes on: without
+` blue or black pens: pink or colored ones
+` dress up for halloween: no i'm not eight
+` have a job: i wish.. waitressing here i come...
+` like to travel: i love it
+` like someone: you've already asked this but yeah
+` sleep on side, stomach, or back: side or stomach
+` think ur attractive: sometimes
+` want to marry: no, it ruins everything
+` have a goldfish: a pond full of them in the yard
+` have stuffed animals: nope i don't like them
+` go on vacation: this summer alot... new york, north carolina for student life camp and georgia for six flags

SECTi0N1o: WHAT D0 Y0U THiNK AB0UT_

+` abortion: wrong
+` bill clinton: i don't care, i hate politics
+` eating disorders: those girls need help they can't help it
+` suicide: that makes me think of matt, it's stupid.. so stupid
+` tattoos: trailor trash!!!
+` piercings: nice in certain places.. as in not on the face or "below the belt" as they say on commercials.. oh and not on nips either
+` make up: niiiiiice
+` drinking: no it's wrong and it tastes bad uck!
+` guys: sweeeet.. .especially some certain ones...
+` girls: DIEEEE

SECTiON11: ThiS OR THAT_

+` pierced nose or tongue: i want to make out with a guy with a tongue ring once so tongue i gues but i don't like either
+` be serious or funny: funny
+` single or taken: single
+` simple or complicated: simple
+` law or action: i have no idea what that means
+` mtv or bet: mtv
+` 7th heaven or dawson's creek: 7th heaven
+` sugar or salt: salt
+` silver or gold: silver
+` chocolate or flowers: white carnations
+` angels or miracles: both
+` color or black&white photos: black&white
+` sunrise or sunset: sunset awww
+` m&ms or skittles: m and m's baby!
+` rap or rock: rock!!! rap sucks!
+` stay up late or sleep: sleep
+` tv or radio: tv
+` taller or shorter members of the opposite sex: my height or a few inches taller.. but guys wilksons height are nice too.. (he's 6'3) so i guess taller... <3 i'm not that particular though>+` sun or moon: moon i love the moon and stars
+` diamond or ruby: neither.. mystic fire
+` left or right: right?
+` 10 aquaintances or one best friend: 10 acqaintacnes and one good friend
+` vanilla or chocolate: vanilla
+` kids or no kids: no kids
+` cat or dog: kitty
+` mustard or ketchup: neither i hate condiments
+` spring or fall: spring
+` give or receive: give
+` rain or snow: snow even though i've never seen it
+` a year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship: with a guy either way i guess is what you're asking.. friendship cuz sex would complicate things
+` happy or sad: happy
+` corduroy or plaid: corduroy
+` wonder or amazement: both go hand in hand i think
+` sneakers or sandals: sandals
+` McDonalds or Burger King: burger king grilled chicken whoppers
+` duct tape or scotch tape: does it matter?
+` candy or soda: candy
+` a house in the woods or the city: city

SECTi0NSurvey12: 0THER QUESTi0NS_

+` do u go to church: yes
+` do u like church: yes!
+` why or why not: friends and a certian boy(s) <3>+` wats ur favorite kind of tree: willow
+` out of all ur friends who has the coolest room: laura i love her room

Perfection....

05.30.04 (12:30 pm) [edit]

My wekend = the greatness of I don't know.. The greatness of...hanging with skaters for a long period of time <3>
It was fun!!

Friday was the last day of school. I was so pissed. Everyone was annoying me with their happiness/immaturity. After school Chase dumped flour all over Dave and then Blair and Boyken came up to hug me and then Dave joined in so we especially me was all covered in flour. Then Dave found some flour and dumped it on Chase. Wilkson came running up to me "ASHLEY!!! I want a hug!!" And when I was hugging him he was like "We're going to the mall" He hugs good. Like guys should. He's adorable. He's so tall my head was on his upper chest. And I am not anywhere near short lol. I have grown so much.
Dave said he wants to hang out so much with me over the summer. He likes me. Alot. He always tells me how nervous he gets when he's around me. He's like you make me so nervous I can barely talk.
Then to Burger King for a grilled chicken Whopper... then to get the problem resolved at school. It's better now. Somewhat.
Then to take a shower, get all my crap together, and then to O'Charleys... Then to church. I had to go and change and then to the FLC to help organize things.
Put stuff in boxes and met a new girl.. Elisa. She's really cool. I like her. She's punk too and I was like wow you're being nice to me <3>And Jeffery was there. I like that name Jeffery.. even though everyone calls him Jeff. He's so adorable. He got these huge 70's style sunglasses and a hat he already had and was all walking everyone with them. And like "These are SO COOL!" He was serious though... But I've always thought that was cute, like that guy, the senior wearing some like that that one day. That was cute too <33>Then we had to tote our whole old sanctuary's worth FULL of boxes onto the semi to move like 200 feet, walk over and unload onto the specified areas and walk back and do this 4 times.. 7-11 pm is how long it took. Jeff, he like always looks at me. In the summer he would just stare ALL the time.. and Friday he was on the semi loading up the boxes and he would like hurry and get my box when he saw me and he would always say some random thing <3 That was cute! It makes me happy!!!!>Then we went and our youth pastor talked to us for an hour so that puts us at 12.30.. then we get washed and ready for bed so that puts us at about 1.30 for the girls 12.35 for the guys who just played drums and farted and stuff since they're guys.
The girls, on the other hand, went upstaris and had a Bible study and discussed things til 2.30.

Then Saturday...
Okay.. they turn on the lights at FOUR!!!
A.M.!!!!
I was like "WHATT?!? ONE AND A HALF HOURS OF SLEEP!!" No, not really, I got up, still in my sleeping bag and looked of the balcony (the girls slept in the balcony, the boys on the stage and Tim and Andrew in their "Fortress of Doom(A tent)") and there were all the guys.. all awake I was like What?! So I got down there, without my makeup and hair a mess and went to the bathroom and put on some makeup and changed. And did not eat breakfast. I hate Krispy Kreme.
Then outside to the Balloon Booth where I would stay for eternity. ETERNITY.
Let's seeeee.. THIS IS THE GOOD POINT

I talked to JEFF

Like I really did.. Like more than just hi or whatever..
He was like talking to Laura and was all.. "we stayed up all night." And I was like "All night? Seriously??" And he just stood there and like his mouth opened and he was like so shocked I talked to him and he got this cute grin and was all "Yeah we did....." and we talked for a few. He's funny. Then get this...
There was this older lady there and she hugged our supervisor for the balloons and I was like Hey and she hugged me and was like Hello it's nice of you to do this for the church.. and I had no idea but it was Jeff's grandma
Jeff came up and he put his arm around her and held her close to like hug her and said "Hey Grandma did you want to go to breakfast or did you just want to leave?" And she's like I want to look for a little bit and so she did... and when she came back he hugged her and said come on I'm taking you to breakfast..
I was like AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW and started oozing with like silent squeals and teenage googly eyes as Dave calls them. That was SOOOO sweet! Most guys wouldn't even acknowledge their partents or if they did, be really embarassed.
And then I talked to Allen for lets see.. from 6-2 so 8 hours lol.. it was so boring we were so bored and HoT! It was so hot!! Let me say that one more time.. SO HOT!
SO then then I left at 3 and went to TCBY and got a banana split it was SOOOOO good!!! then to do some stuff.. got home, called Amba back and then went to lay down at 4.00 and fell asleep until 8.00 this morning!!

Then today, church. It was so blehh I was on the verge of passing out and now here I am.
About to go to church again in 3 and a half hours. I like it though.

But my mom was talking about Jeff.. she was like Ashley, I respect him so much for even going to that, any guy that would help the church for nothing in return I have alot of respect for and that he would hug his grandma and be so sweet to her, that means alot. That's the kind of guy you need.

And I'm the only one that notices him..

I'm thinking of a new layout::
My inspiration 2 sugarcult songs.. as this one is a Strokes song inspiration
"Counting Stars Wishing I Was Okay
The banner would say the theme and the background stars or something.. I'm thinking about it
or some background with the banner saying..
"Picking up the pieces of the life you've broken Stitching it together with the seams wide open..." For an emo mood.

<3 you guys!!>

Soo...

05.27.04 (11:50 am) [edit]

Tomorrow is the last day of school. You'd think I'd be excited...

But I'm not.

Partly, for the incidents that happened yesterday, which have made me think. Everything I loved this small private school, is gone. Evertyhing. I dread it. I dread going back next year and everyday until my senior trip is over and graduation is through.

And I can't learn. I'm sick of always getting in trouble, when I'm a saint compared to everyone else. And I'm sick of them always laying off the work until the last two weeks of each term so I have to cram for that. I hate that. I'm sick of that. I'm sick of being around the same 13 people in my group of sophmores every day.

And summers not going to cure this.

I know that much...

Offers of going to other schools...
PJC ~ Miss out on prom and social things like that... But it's just like going to college and I like that sense of freedom

And there are like two other choices...

I'm just sick of everything..

BLEH!!!!

05.26.04 (5:03 pm) [edit]

That sums up how I feel right now..
Short updat today.. I'll explain more later.

Today in summary of words::
Geometry exam.. I'm a pro
Bible blew..
I'm going to the head of the school for a certain problem
I hate people
Meanness from teachers and smart remarks...

On the way to get a calculator from spandex the two math teachers stopped me:
"MY WORD!! ASHLEY!! Look at your shirt"
My teacher: "Oh, ashley's shirts are always short and she never tucks them in, her stomach is always showing. Ashley, why don't you pull up your skirt? Wait. You can't. Then your skirt would be too short.. her skirts are always too short too........"
I just turned around while flipping my hair and walked off when she was talking to me. As if that didn't already piss me off I had no idea what was coming later that day...
Then the geometry exam.
Then the 15 min break.
Then BIBLE! I hate that class.. the teacher though.. GRRR!
Talked to Adam for a while at the begininning.. he is sooo cool. Like really.

DAMNIT! Dave is insisting on calling me so I'll hav eto finish later..

What is it...

05.25.04 (4:45 pm) [edit]

I don't see what they see in me.
Guys.
Do they think I'm great? Or that I'm going to treat them good? Or do they like me only based on looks?
They confuse me.
Can they not see the past relationships I have? I know they do..but they must not care.
Or is it me? I don't get it! If I was a guy, I would definitely not like me. Not at all.
I don't know and will most likely never know why guys like me this much. Ever.
And I'm not being Deanna and saying this to brag, I'm not like that at all..I just truly do not get it.
Like Scott for instance..
"If there's someone you can't stop thinking about. Post this in your journal...

You held me in your arms so you could stab me in the back

But you didn't care

Or maybe didn't know

Because I was still smiling"
Me and Amba were talking today.. and she was like "I told you Dave liked you!!" I was like yeah.. she was like "You know every guy, or maybe except a few has liked you this year.."
I don't get it..
I get the good guys. The guys other girls would die for. But I don't want them. For once, I want a grungy, messy, long-haired, dirty, rebellious, non-commitment, don't care, funny, have fun kind of guy.
Just once..

And I've learned one thing, you can never be just friends with a guy, if you think you are just friends, don't believe it.. he likes you.

People just think I'm just that preppy girl that's obsessed with hair, makeup and shopping who has probably been around the block a few times and who is a major airhead whose life is always perfect and nothing near as confusing as it can be..

But people, especially girls, never take the time to get to know me.. and that makes me mad sometimes...

There's more to me than shopping and if you'd really get to know me you'd realize I really don't care that much about my makeup and hair, except I hate my hair always, and I'm not an airhead, I may have some blonde moments but everyone has those.. people just make more of a big deal out of it if I have a moment. And people don't believe me when I tell them what all I have done with a guy, or more like what all I haven't done. The assume that I've done it all.. not true. I'm just so sick of people assuming these things of me.

Even though they always will...

Now that I've spilled my whole heart out to you...

Umm...

05.24.04 (2:17 pm) [edit]

Tomorrow is my Biology and Espanol exams.. wish me luck...

Bleh.

I'm sick of studying!!

But.. guess what??
guess who likes me???

JEFF!!

Heh!! Gotcha!! I wish...

MIKE!

Nope! Haha! Gotcaha again...

Dave

And I'm for real. If you could sense the enthusiasm in my voice there.

Isn't that weird??

I mean, yesterday I finally figured out I want a boyfriend. I finally believe I have matured enough as a person, even though I make not act like it sometimes, I do want one. Deep down. I feel kind of lonely. I just want a boyfriend to hang out with.. and kiss sometimes.. and to just have someone like that. It'd be cute.

It's not that I don't like Dave, he's great. But everytime I hear a boy likes me, I just get weird. Like, I have kind of liked him, to be honest. But now I know he does it's just different...

And then I look at those boys at church... or even Mike maybe.. Mikes cool, but I don't know know if we're ready for a relationship with each other yet. And those boys at church, damn, they're hott. I mean HOTT. And maybe not as mature and experienced in relationships right now. Which is what I do need. Right now at least.

It's not that I can't get a boyfriend if I wanted one. It's just right now I want to flirt and talk and see who I could get, and then choose.
Is that wrong?
It kind of sounds bad...

But in other news....

4 MORE DAYS TIL SCHOOLS OUT!!!!!

I'm so ready!

I was going to say something else too.. something that made me happy but I can't remember what it was? Isn't that weird!

Oh well...

Hey!! After I posted I rememberd what it was!

The 2nd/1st maybe hottest guy I know lol.. Kyle.. people were talking about him today.. They were like, yeah, he has real long hair now, just about as long as yours Ashley.. I was like NO WAY! THATS SICK! And he WAS hott.. VERRRRY!! Well.. yeah, just to think of him makes me happy.. how hott he WAS.. oooh ponder...

Are YOU talking to ME???

05.23.04 (6:48 pm) [edit]

So, I went to church tonight. I wore one of my new skirts. Its short and flowy and lime green with tiny white polka dots, and a white shirt and white flip flops and my jewlery and my nails matched it perfectly <3>
Well shit.
It posted the blog and I don't know why..

Well anyways...

Wait! Dave asked me out to a movie again.. a double date??? What is it with boys? I'm such a boy magnet.. haha I'm joking!

Church though...
Fun.
Guys are so frickin hott there!!
Jeff is so cute. Kinda short, but cute nonetheless..
But this guy, Ezekial is his name, he is so hott. I saw him last week and I was like.. Man, what I wouldn't do to go out with him! Well anyways he reached across like 6 people and was like Hi I'm Ezekial what's your name? During the hand shaking part.. and was all who are you here with? Are you coming again? What school do you go to? I'm sorry, what's your name again?.. and I was like.. He's talking to me? No way! And then I was like I'm marrying you. I am. Haha, no I'm not MATT! GAHH HE MAKES ME MAD!
But anywho...
Then Laura's brother. Name is Josh btw. He stuck out his hand and I actually shook it this time.. and he was like "YESSS!!" so loud!! And he was like "SHE SHOOK MY HAND FINALLY!! I'M NEVER WASHING THIS HAND AGAIN!!" And I was talking to him afterward and he was like "I'm sensing some negative vibes from you, I'm sensing that you don't like me very much" That makes me laugh..

MWAHAHAHAHA..

Weirdddd... AND STROKES!! <33

05.23.04 (1:46 pm) [edit]

So weird!! Okay.. Mike, extremely sexy to the extreme-ness guy, I've known him since 8th grade.. but I stopped talking to him last summer cuz of he went to Michigan for the summer and he'd call me a couple times but some other stuff happened, he was having a hard time and stuff. It was never anything other than like a brother/sister relationship. It was cool though. I've always felt so comfortable around him. And he's funny as hell. But when we stopped talking, the day school started I ran into him at Wal-Mart and then we got interested in other things and stopped talking again.
my mom got on the wrong elevator at the hospital and I took a long time at the mall buying clothes and we took a wrong turn, which ended us up at WinnDixie to buy cookie mix late. So I go in in and see this gorgeous guy and I walk the opposite direction I need to go to see him up close and I'm like OMG THAT'S MIKE!! And he was like "Ashley! How are you?!?!" I was like dang how'd he recognize me? I have brown hair now, wear makeup thats not all glitter and grew 5 inches. We started talking and then I got my stuff and checked out at his lane. And he said he'd call me. That's so cool. And he's hott. I mean HOOOTTTTTT.. hehe.

Today, church. Jeff=Gorgeous. Really. He's so cool. I like him like twice as much now. We were all standing out there and Laura's brother came up and annoyed me and I wouldn't shake his hand and then I said cuz you hit me last time and he's like how'd you remember that omg! You hold grudges.. that's not good. Getting everyone's attention also. And so Jeff was like looking at me and her brother (don't know his name lol) and then the scene is over cuz he gets distracted and so Jeff's friend John is standing by him and he's kind of looking off into the distance and Jeff balls up a little piece of paper and throws it at his cheek and is all "Yes! Perfect shot!.. That was perfect, man!" And John looks all mad and Jeff was like, "Hey, it was perfect." And kind of grins and then starts takling to Laura's bro. I was like what a little annoyance. He's cool.

Got some of the cutest clothes. Skirts mainly. 1.15 hours I spent 100.00. Yes, only I could conquer that feat. So now, to get ready for church once again.. Jeff is gorgeous. Giggle.

Oh and quiz::

HASH(0x8ac9398)

you are "under control". congratulations,
you're definetly my favorite. you're probably
really relaxed, and you're all about
"going with the flow". you're kiss is
really soft, and meaningful. "i don't want
to change the world, i just wanna watch it go
by" you rule me.

what The Strokes song are you? (Room On Fire)
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm gonna put that song in here.. it's great. They say thats the one where Julian sings the best too <333>

Best CDs

05.22.04 (6:00 pm) [edit]

A list of my favorite Cd's
1. The Strokes ~ Is This It
2. The Strokes ~ Room On Fire
3. Thursday ~ War All The Time
4. New End Original ~ Thriller
5. Thursday ~ Full Collapse
6. The Icarus Line ~ Penance Soiree
7. Red Hot Valentines ~ Summer Fling
8. Blindside ~ Blindside
9. Story Of The Year ~ Page Avenue
10. The Vines ~ Winning Days
11. Weezer - Weezer 1994

My favorite CD's. Yes.
A majority of them being "stoner" music. Yes.

I'm diffrent. The preppiest girl you'd ever meet. BUT loves stoner music.

Well, today was a sweeet day.
I woke up around 9.30 and then watched MAD tv.
Then went and layed out. For an hour. It's sooo incredibly hot and I didn't feel like freezing my nips off by getting in the pool.
Came in and lusted over the Icarus Line cd I want insanely bad. But I'm broke so arrgghh.. I have money, but it's not mine, it's the moms and it's being used for summer clothes.. but I'm taking alot of my clothes to consignment shops and getting money from that, hopefully.
Then did random things...
Cooked dinner.. grilled chicken sanwich like the ones at Santino's.
Took a shower and put on sunless tanner. I called it selfless tanner once and nobody will EVER forget that. EVER.

I have some new stalkers.
Or a new stalker. Or some. Not sure.
You know what? I really hope it's that guy from church. But he's not in middle school, but STILL.
I have middle school stalkers. Yes, my life is complete now. They sound real young. Or he does. He sounds real young. Like 6th grade. Maybe.
They called so much, my mom picked up the phone and she was like who's this and anyways long story. Kid said his name was Joe Brown? Riiiight.
Then got upstairs and I had two answering machine messages.. "Um Uh Um My friend Umm I'm in middle school and um my fried uh wanted me to ask you how old you are um uh and umm uh and yeah call me back at ...-.... and uh bye." and then him calling back again singing "zippity do dah zippity yay" something like that.. all the time in the first one you could hear some guy with a deep voice talking in the background. But if that guy doesn't have enough balls to ask me himself. Than screw that, man.

I want to redo my room. I'm looking forward to that <3>
I want to make some jewlry out of leather. A leather necklace with some cool unique beads. That'd be awsome. Or suede, whatever that beige string is made out of...

I'm outy.

Van Helsing...

05.21.04 (7:37 pm) [edit]

Today at school was crap. The only good part was arriving and seeing what the now seniors did to our history teachers stool... he loves that stool. He values it right up there with his life. And I got there and you see the '05 posters they all colored hanging on the columns and then you see Seniors.. It Has Just Begun written in huge letters on the sidewalk in chalk and then you look up to see Snow's stool hanging from the gap between the two roofs and it is tied with padlocks and two posters saying "This is just the beginning.. SENIORS '05" and then he goes to get it in the last period of the day, which is my class.. and one of the padlocks comes down and hits him in the face giving him a bloody lip.. it was just too funny..

Scott is like lets do something over the summer.. what are you doing after exams next week?.. what movie are you going to see?.. I don't want to hang with him.. uggghhh

Adam was throwing paper in my hair all during 8th.. it started with this airplane and I grabbed it and he's like nooo give it back and then I turned around and looked him in the eye and ripped it right down the middle and threw the pieces on his desk and turned around and he's like "you're not the brightest person in the world, I'm just going to throw these in your hair now AsHLeEeeEYY.." he annoys me. But he's a cutie.

Then went to the grocery store after school.. got a new cd player.. well, from wal mart but same thing.. and I want my Icarus Line cd but they didn't have it. so gahh!!

Then the movie.. it was okay. The movie got a -1 rating plus the part that almost made me cry gives it a -108384. Exact. Dave is so cool. He made some big deal out of the number 7 being on my hand and him having it too.. what's that mean? anyone know? He wouldn't tell me. He talks alot, but that's good. I enjoy his company and he's nice to talk to. We have a handshake too.. ooh jealous??!?! I know you are...

But the movie.. part love story.. those suck. That girl, Kate Winslet I think? The one from Pearl Harbor that got to do Josh Hartnett in the parachute place.. she's in there. She's so gorgeous in that movie. I love her hair. <3>
The Frankenstien part.. this might ruin the movie so don't read it if you don't want to know..
He was so nice. Helsing was going to kill him so he shot him and he was like "I just want to exist" and told him all these secrets and then he somehow came back alive and they took him in but something happened that I missed he ended up frozen and Helsing wouldn't get him out so Countdracula took him up and tortured him and then Helsing rescued him but only ended up hurting him and then he was like "I've known worse pain than that, nothing could hurt me.." something like that. And he's just so sweet but nobody likes him and then Helsing somehow shot him again and he was like "I just want to live.." And it was so sad and then at the end you see him looking up at Helsing and that other monk guy and he's rowing away all by himself in the river looking all sad. It just made me want to cry. I started tearing up but then I was like noo, I can't cry here.. so sad...

I hate it whenever people have no friends thats just the saddest thing...

OMG though. going into the movie.. some guy.. probably like 13 or 14 but still.. THE MOST gorgeous hair.. long dark brown hair.. very straight and thin and almost covering his eyes .. I mean I can't explain it, it was just sexy to the extreme.. his friend was lookin' damn hott too.....

I LOVE SKATERS

so much <333>

finally..

05.20.04 (1:44 pm) [edit]

tblog was down all day yesterday. AND deleted my last two entries. So frick. But whatever...

Yesterday...
Discected a frog in first hour (biology) and was feeling sick the whole time and got to Spanish and I felt like I was going to puke. Sooo.. I went home, and slept and stuff. Pretty boring. Mom said I was going to church last night so I did my hair, put on makeup, got dressed, came downstairs.. and she said we were'nt going. I was like thanks for telling me mom. So that sucked. No hott skater boys and julian casablancas look a like druggies.
Dave called me. Talked for two hours. He's like I never talk to anyone on the phone this long. And he was like you make me nervous Ashley. Weird that I make someone nervous. I make a fool of myself all the time. He basically said he liked me, without saying, Ashley I like you.
That girl on Made, the preppy one who wants to be a skater, he said that's me. And I couldn't agree more. That is me. Crazy. Now I know why I never get skaters I guess? I'm too preppy? I don't know. But some of those guys at her school, with the long hair, very sexy. Very sexy.

Today:
Pretty bore-ish. Went through the files in yearbook and there were all these pix from when I was in elementary school. It brought back all those memories. It's like now when you look at all those people who were bullies, you're like man I could so kick their arses. Crazy. Now, they're all short and I'm really tall. So I could still kick their arses.
In english I went up to the board to write a sentence and it was like
When my father gets a new job my family has to move. And I read Wilkson's By:Not Me thing and instead of move I put me and when she read it everyone was like hahahahahaaaa and so I ran up there and wrote move and then died of laughter cuz it was funny.
I'm getting my cd from matt back. He's emo. VERYY EMOOOO!!!
I want to go to Gulf Breeze. GB guys are HOT!
I just want a sexy skater guy with long-ish brown hair and big puppy dog eyes and tight jeans and t shirts. That's what I want....
But what I'll never find....

..*About Me*..

Basics
Name::Ashley
Age::Fifteen
Local::The Sunshine State
Stats::Hmmm...
Hair::Dark Brown With Little Blonde Highlights In It
Eyes::Baby Blue
Height::5'8

SKATER BOYS ARE SO SEXY

The Strokes - Automatic Stop